c 2000, Rory Cargill

        The Invisible Society of Philosophers and Ploughwrights is proud to announce it's latest innovation in lifestyle experiences. Designer universes! Now you can quite literally have it all your way whatever that may be. Following on from our unique patented timelime rewriter technology, we are now able to find you the universe of your dreams be it an idyllic nirvana of your choice, a blood-strewn battlefield of glorious conquest, untold wealth, power or whatever.
        Yes, our new, all-singing, all-dancing universe search engine is truly the ultimate service! Tell us what you're looking for and we'll find it and take you there. Furthermore, if the universe you want doesn't yet exist, the most exciting spin-off yet from our timeline rewriter technology is our very own universe generator feature. This highly exclusive and much sought after service is what makes an Invisible Tours experience the very pinnacle of taste and style!
        After years of developing our timeline rewriter, we are pleased to share this fascinating technology with you in the form of a lifestyle service which we feel is genuinely unparalleled in this or any other universe that may or may not yet exist. In the simplest of terms, our timeline rewriter shifts karma around between the infinity of parallel universes that exist until our client's needs are met. This is facilitated by the existence of the many chaos universes where it is easy to dump karma left over from the editing process until such time as it can be slotted in elsewhere in a meaningful fashion.
        As an expansion upon our original timeline rewriter technology, we are now able to offer our universes-to-order service. Seeing how all possible universes already exist, it is simply a matter of searching for the universe that matches your needs. Other tour agencies may offer you the sights and sounds of distant galaxies, but only Invisible Universes can offer you a whole universe of your very own. Only Invisible Artefacts Plc. can offer the kind of services we offer. We give the following examples of our services:

  • The Rhevgzhi were facing destruction because the star their planet orbited was becoming unstable. We found them a universe where it never happend and moved them there.
  • Fingmar the Fabulous wanted to rule the universe, and we got it there. Another satisfied Invisible Lifestyle customer.
  • The Claxhlub, an intelligent species of lichen was almost anihilated as a result of the Vorticons mistaking them for fashionable pieces of home decoration. Invisible Astrobleme rewrote the timelines so that the Vorticons had different tastes in domestic furnishing using our timeline rewriter and successfully recovered the Claxhlub.
  • Nuraldio the Omnipotent, a minor deity, had fallen out of favour with his chosen race, the Blaenerians. We found the universe where he was worshipped and appreciated and relocated him there. Truly, a happier family has yet to be seen.
  • Thuvligiana Glopst XIV found the predictability of the laws of physics in her universe dull and uninteresting. We found her a universe where the laws of physics were mutable and chaotic. She was thrilled and so were we. Drop in any time for a unique experience.
  • Broken hearted lovers have been happily reunited with their loved ones by the score in universes where their happy endings are reality. You only need to enquire for their satisfied endorsements.
  • Countless beings living unsatisfying lives have been relocated to universes where they have found happiness and fulfillment through our unique trans-dimensional universe search engine. We always find what you want and sometimes even that which you never realized that you wanted!
  • Tomorrow's football, cricket, horse racing and other sundry sports results today. Just think of your advantage at the betting office! Please note that this is a premium service and is charged accordingly.

        Invisible Ornithopters Unlimited have an unparalleled record of success. We're not satisfied until you're satisfied! And it's backed up by our full, no-quibble money-back guarantee. Don't just dream about it, get out there and live it in the universe where it's all happening for you.
        In the competitve field of the Lifestyle and Leisure industry, you may find cheaper operators elsewhere. But be warned that many of our competitors have been known to take unethical shortcuts with excessive karma shifting. But with Invisible Appliances, you can rest assured that all our services are only delivered on a win-win basis thanks to our advanced universe search engine. Where we lead, the others follow. Enjoy your Invisible Cat in the Hat experience with a clear conscience.
        Have you cocked things up on an epic scale for as near an eternity as you could possibly imagine? No worries! All you need is a quick session with our universe search engine and timeline rewriter. Whether it's just one individual's knotted karma, an entire civilisation or more, we can untangle any mess. Invisible Topiarists are the unrivalled experts!
        Did you miss the starting gun in the race of life the first time around? Allow us to rewind the clock so that you can have the added advantage that only the Invisible Bar & Grill can serve up.
        Our motto: Universes-R-Us. We stand by it and deliver any time, anywhere. Our highly trained staff are waiting for your call right now and will only be too happy to help. You too can enjoy our unique service.

Mad about ET's!!!